Kalin - In The Wilderness

-

Am I growing?

Courage | Community | Empathy

 

 

7 minutes reading

What Did I Grow? 

Reflecting on the past year, I've come to understand that my core values are rooted in courage, community, and empathy. In 2023, I made a conscious choice to embrace courage and vulnerability, seeking to overcome the fear of not being good enough and poverty. This journey has led me through moments of inaction and hyperactivity, both personally and professionally, ultimately bringing forth happiness and productivity for the first time. Then, I asked myself, "Am I actually growing?" My answer was, "Absolutely, I am growing in the level of consciousness, transitioning from emotions such as shame, guilt, hopelessness, grief, fear, desire, anger, and pride to a place of courage." 


In realizing the importance of embodying courage and overcoming judgment, I recognize that judgment acts as the sword that kills my courage. To truly live up to this courage, I find my anchor in a supportive community that serves as my life support and nurturing ground. Notably, empathy emerges as the secret sauce, acting like an energy drink that fuels my courage, transforming me into a genuinely courageous person. And guess what? In my journey, courage is not just about personal growth; it's about passing on and empowering my squad, students, and the collective community. For me, community signifies a collective bound by meaningful connections and a shared sense of higher purpose. When a community fails to align with my core values and empower me, I am compelled to choose courage and move away from that space. The breakdown of a community, although painful, mirrors Moses's challenges in the wilderness. As I navigate these challenges, I must shift my focus to my locus of control, appreciating the ongoing effort and process without attaching my self-worth to outcomes.  

 

 

 


In The Wilderness

Drawing inspiration from the courageous life of Moses, my own journey is evolving into a testament of courage. In the wilderness of challenges, I've gleaned valuable lessons from Moses's experiences. He confronted injustice, fearlessly challenging the status quo to advocate for his people. Courage, at its core, means doing what is right, even amid adversity.


Just as Moses initially hesitated but eventually overcame his self-doubts and fears when called upon by a higher purpose of God, I've come to understand that true courage involves confronting internal struggles like I faced with shame and guilt. Similarly, I've learned that courage isn't just about facing difficulties but persisting through them. Moses's unwavering faith in a higher purpose fueled his courage, showcasing the transformative power of having a strong sense of purpose and faith when confronting daunting challenges.

A Journey Towards Authentic Living

Learning to trust myself emerges as a key aspect of cultivating authentic courage. Therefore, if a community places undue reliance on me to the extent that I am unable to find rest or neglects their own responsibilities, I must pose the question: 'What is my responsibility, and what is not?' Recognizing the polarity between 'Giving freely vs. a Sense of duty,' my intention for the upcoming year, 2024, is clear—'to own my responsibility and empower others to own theirs.'

As I look towards 2024, It will be very important for me to continuously be able to heal and grow, embracing a life filled with happiness and productivity. My compass for this adventure will be guided by intrinsic motivations—curiosity, purpose, humility, and mastery—painting the path of my life with vibrant hues. I aim to continue the path of rejuvenation in flow, focusing on making progress, mindfulness, and mattering, while breathing new life into my being.

I do not wish myself going through my day next year perpetual insomnia or hypersomnia, inactivity or hyperactivity, underthinking or overthinking. Instead, I am determined to hold space and set boundaries, allowing me to gracefully navigate between these polarities, fostering an environment where growth and productivity flourish. I yearn for that sweet spot—a liminal space where flow of creativity gently emerges. I do not wish for a stressful, anxious and overwhelmed way of living and working -- I need to see my work as a profound mission and my life as a blessing to the world.

I will use the courage to commit to say NO to energy-draining vampires, no more negativity, no more burning out, and no more fear of not being good enough. Conversely, I aspire to cultivate a supportive circle of individuals who, like nature, nurture and generously give as catalysts, healers, and nourishers. Together, we will infuse our life with values, aligning wholeheartedly with our mission, providing moments of rest, and fostering a garden of continuous growth. 

Prayer Request

  • My Relationship with God

  • My family and my well-being

  • My mission and professional life 

  • Graduation master’s degree (In the research process and defense) 

  • Across Project (new activities are planning) 



Kim Kalin

+855 96 599 5713 | polinkim1603@gmail.com

Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cambodia Will Not Be Silenced

-
Image
  Cambodia Will Not Be Silenced 5 minutes to read We are not a nation that screams for no reason. We are a nation that bleeds quietly… until the wound becomes too deep to hide. Today, that wound opened. And the cry that rises from Cambodia is older than anger, older than fear— it is the cry of a people who have survived every empire that tried to break us. We have seen war. We have seen betrayal. We have buried too many sons and daughters on our own land. But we are still here. And today, when our people are attacked, our spirit awakens. This is not a curse toward a nation. This is a curse toward injustice, toward those who delight in violence, toward the hands that spill innocent blood. We say: Enough. Enough of treating Cambodian lives as if they mean nothing. Enough of stepping into our land with arrogance. Enough of provoking death where we want peace. Let the heavens record this cry. Let the earth witness it. Let time itself remember who stood for truth. We call upon: - The ...
Read more

You Can Begin Again

-
Image
5 minutes for reading When you fall or fail, it’s easy to believe that your life is over — that you’re worthless, empty, and forgotten. But Jesus doesn’t treat you the way you or others might. His way is different. His way is better. After Peter denied knowing Jesus three times, Jesus didn’t scold him in front of others. He didn’t reject or humiliate him. Instead, Jesus returned to him — just like the very first time — while he was fishing. He cooked him breakfast, sat with him, and invited him to start again. The resurrected Jesus didn’t just conquer death — He conquered shame, fear, guilt, and the lie that says you’re unworthy of a new beginning. Jesus didn’t ask Peter, “Why did you abandon me?” or “Have you fixed yourself yet?” or “Will you do better next time?” He simply asked, “Do you love me?” — and He asked it three times. Out of that love, Jesus restored Peter’s calling, his faith, and his leadership in the mission to spread the gospel and shepherd the early church . And I...
Read more